Culinary School: The Beginning

The Band-Aid count is: Are we counting by Band-Aids or different fingers? Perhaps number of fingers is best. So the count stands at 3 different fingers I've wrapped during practice on knife skills for culinary school. Is that average? Do we count nicks or slices only? When I stand in the daily lineup for inspection, does it count for me that I have wrapped fingers, showing that yes, practice at home is going on and yes, I know basic sanitary care, or does it count against me as clearly a simpleton who can't hold a potato without it "sauteing" into the air. You know that "saute" means to "jump" in French, oui? Mais . . . 

Today is Day 15, and I am still standing at culinary school. You won't find bashing of any Chef Instructors or other students here - because that's not the experience I'm having, which is good to say. So far I've learned much more about myself - my view of my own math skills, my ability to push through fatigue - than I've learned about any individual. After all, everyone looks just like me when we're all wearing kitchen whites (save for the Chef Instructors, whose hats must stick out of their sunroofs when they drive home).

If you're asking, "is it fun? I've always wanted to do that", I'd reply that it's important that you be open to understanding like this: You don't know much, less than you think you do, and you need to start from scratch, in all likelihood, if you want to do cooking the French way (and naturellement I do). You aren't paying all that lettuce to go tell somebody how much you already know. The way I figure it, if you can pull an A in the basic foundations class, what are you in there for?

The aspect of fun is the self-discovery that happens - and for some people that wouldn't fit the "fun" category. For me, it's work, but it's the work of discovery and yes, I'm enjoying the effort required.

When Jeanne and I were at the Roger Smith Writers Conference in New York over Valentines Weekend, we heard from Kathleen Flinn, who wrote a book called The Sharper Your Knives, the Less You Cry about attending the world's most famous culinary school. Think Audrey Hepburn in Sabrina. At that point, I had no idea I'd be going myself, but the title of her book fascinated me, so I dove into it. I had a wrong idea about the book based on the title: I thought it would be about the sort of boot camp humiliation that surely would be doled out to hapless students like me. But that's not the case. Read it, enjoy it as I am, because you'll get a great sense of how it feels, tastes, smells and looks when you go to culinary school.

This morning I've been through 3 Band-Aids on the same finger. I've stopped cutting, because once you sense that it isn't working, you're tired or there isn't enough light, just stop, stop it now. Safety first.

That's one of the first lessons you'll ever hear in culinary school. Excuse me now, I have to go iron my hat.